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New Year's Jokes

15 Resolutions You Won't Keep

  1. I will not buy magazines with AOL disks bound in just to get another 1.44MB disk.
  2. I will stop sending e-mail to my roommate.
  3. I resolve to work with neglected children...my own.
  4. I will answer my snail mail with the same enthusiasm I answer my e-mail.
  5. When I subscribe to a newsgroup or mailing list, I will read all the mail I get from it.
  6. I will stay on the computer as long as I want. What? Okay, dear... I'm coming. Never mind.
  7. No more downloads from alt.binaries.*
  8. I resolve to back up my new 9GB hard drive daily...well, once a week...monthly, perhaps...
  9. I won't try to get onto the Netscape ftp site as soon as a new Navigator beta comes out.
  10. I will try to figure out why I *really* need 7 e-mail addresses.
  11. When I hear "Where do you want to go today?" I won't reply "MS Tech Support."
  12. I will read the manual.
  13. I will spend only one hour on the Net a day.
  14. I will think of a password other than "password."
  15. I will stop checking my e-mail at 3:00 in the morning.